If you compare your life today to your life 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, or even 1 month ago, what has remained the same, and what has changed?
Of the aspects of your life that have changed, were the changes immediate or did they transition from one state to another over a longer period of time?
When you consider each change that you have noted in response to the prompts above, you probably remember how easy or difficult those experiences were for you. Change can feel empowering, awkward, joyful, painful, exhilarating, sad, exciting, frustrating – all types of feelings, sometimes all at once. Big changes can take many forms, they can unfold in different timeframes, they can move you into new phases in life, and they can also leave you feeling disoriented as you adjust and settle into your new norm.
Common types of life transitions are:
those you have planned and are currently taking action on - examples of these may include moving houses, changing jobs, or getting married.
those you anticipate but have not yet taken action on – examples of these can be similar to those previously discussed – moves, job changes, relationship status changes – and they can also include events on your long-term horizon like building your dream home, retiring, or becoming a grandparent.
those that you do not expect – examples of these may include losing your job, getting a divorce, or a loved one passing away.
Regardless of the type of change you are experiencing, moving from one way of being to another can stir up a complex set of emotions. Different types of transitions can impact different people in different ways, and this can then cause a set of seemingly contradictory feelings. For example, consider your child growing up and moving to college. This change can incite a sense of hope for what is yet to come for your child’s future, but this event can also carry distressing emotions such as sadness and grief. These emotions can arise either during their moving out or after they leave home – you realize that aspects of the old life you knew are no longer part of the life you are now living. By acknowledging that all types of change can be challenging, you make room for your entire emotional experience.
Whether you are male, female, or non-binary, old, young, or somewhere in between, married, single, divorced, or if it’s complicated, change in life is inevitable and can sometimes feel hard to manage on your own. Engaging with a therapist and initiating therapy, either with your partner in couples therapy or on your own in individual therapy, can help you manage and process the entire range of emotions you experience during transitions.
Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate
Offering Individual Therapy for Women in Life Transitions, Individual Therapy for Men, & Couples Therapy in Austin, TX